I used to measure my strength in terms of weight, as in I can bench-press 80 lbs. (come on guys, that’s actually pretty good for a girl), which I haven’t been able to do since weight-lifting during basketball season in high school. Now I measure my strength in terms of daily tasks, as in I can carry 2 grocery bags up the stairs without falling over and/or stopping every 3 feet to catch my breath. I can now do my own laundry, a huge deal considering that someone else has had to do my laundry for the past eight months because I wasn’t strong enough to carry it up and down the stairs by myself (that, and I wasn’t allowed to leave my apartment for the first three months post-transplant in order to carry the laundry to and from the laundry room). Instead of patting myself on the back for leg-pressing 200 lbs., I’m happy to be able to lean over and empty the dishwasher without straining my back!
It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t tie my shoes or put lotion on my legs without leaning on my knee for support. I couldn’t even retrieve a pan out of the lower kitchen cabinet or open the bottom drawer of my dresser. Now I can bike for 20 minutes on level 5 (out of 20, but better than 1, which is what I started at!), do lunges while brushing my teeth, and sit for an hour without feeling like I gave an elephant a piggy-back ride. Compared to what I’ve been able to do at various times in my life, it’s not much, but I’m learning I don’t have to compare and be “better” than anyone, including myself, to feel content. Besides, in the grand scheme of life, when I’m old and gray and looking back at my life, will it really matter how many lbs. I could bench-press? I can be happy just as I am and feel encouraged by any amount of growth, no matter how small.
1 Samuel 16:7b NIV
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Psalm 147:10-11 NCV
10 He is not impressed with the strength of a horse
or with human might.
11 The Lord is pleased with those who respect him,
with those who trust his love.
It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t tie my shoes or put lotion on my legs without leaning on my knee for support. I couldn’t even retrieve a pan out of the lower kitchen cabinet or open the bottom drawer of my dresser. Now I can bike for 20 minutes on level 5 (out of 20, but better than 1, which is what I started at!), do lunges while brushing my teeth, and sit for an hour without feeling like I gave an elephant a piggy-back ride. Compared to what I’ve been able to do at various times in my life, it’s not much, but I’m learning I don’t have to compare and be “better” than anyone, including myself, to feel content. Besides, in the grand scheme of life, when I’m old and gray and looking back at my life, will it really matter how many lbs. I could bench-press? I can be happy just as I am and feel encouraged by any amount of growth, no matter how small.
1 Samuel 16:7b NIV
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Psalm 147:10-11 NCV
10 He is not impressed with the strength of a horse
or with human might.
11 The Lord is pleased with those who respect him,
with those who trust his love.
Go, God!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is all relative, eh? Someone out there is worrying about conquering cancer and can't care about looks, strength, etc......You have it so balanced Becky:) Love you
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