On Saturday Zack and I went on a Christmas-tree-decorating rampage. In the span of a few hours, we managed to adorn 2 10-foot-tall Christmas trees, neither of which was ours, with a variety of lights, beads, and ornaments, pose for innumerable Christmas photos, AND watch a Christmas movie (Christmas with the Kranks...I don’t recommend it).
You’re probably familiar with the fact that Christmas-tree decorating is quite an ordeal. The process begins with locating and unloading boxes of Christmas decorations and is followed by untangling and testing the lights, replacing bulbs (or more commonly, hiding the burnt-out bulbs behind large Christmas tree branches), reminiscing over old and/or handmade ornaments (“remember this lopsided Santa I painted when I was 4?”), and forlornly throwing away the broken ones. All this must occur before a single light or ornament can be placed on the tree.
Before the ornaments can be hung, the lights must be strung around the tree (Zack and I switched these steps on accident). Next comes the placement of the tree-topper, usually performed by the alpha male of the family. This step always makes its onlookers quite nervous, as the alpha male balances precariously upon an object that is way too short and/or ill-suited for the task at hand. In my dad’s case, this was a stool balanced atop a chair, with Zack acting as spotter. After trimming, mounting, and straightening the tree and stringing the lights, my dad was so exhausted that he proceeded to collapse on the couch for the rest of the tree-decorating process, from which he had a clear view of our ornament-hanging and could criticize accordingly :).
After the tree topper is placed, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and moves on to the main task of hanging the ornaments. Each family has its own special way of completing this step. Some designate certain ornaments to be hung only by certain family members, under penalty of death. Usually the heavy or breakable ornaments are kept away from small children and they are directed instead to a pile of “special” ornaments that include those already broken or too ugly to care about. As we sifted through the ornament boxes, I found that a suspicious number of my parents’ ornaments are missing their eyes. I tried to compensate for this disturbing phenomenon by drawing them on with a black Sharpie. Not the same.
As the night drew to a close, we sipped apple cider, munched on chocolate chip cookies, and proudly observed our handiwork. Happy decorating!
You’re probably familiar with the fact that Christmas-tree decorating is quite an ordeal. The process begins with locating and unloading boxes of Christmas decorations and is followed by untangling and testing the lights, replacing bulbs (or more commonly, hiding the burnt-out bulbs behind large Christmas tree branches), reminiscing over old and/or handmade ornaments (“remember this lopsided Santa I painted when I was 4?”), and forlornly throwing away the broken ones. All this must occur before a single light or ornament can be placed on the tree.
Before the ornaments can be hung, the lights must be strung around the tree (Zack and I switched these steps on accident). Next comes the placement of the tree-topper, usually performed by the alpha male of the family. This step always makes its onlookers quite nervous, as the alpha male balances precariously upon an object that is way too short and/or ill-suited for the task at hand. In my dad’s case, this was a stool balanced atop a chair, with Zack acting as spotter. After trimming, mounting, and straightening the tree and stringing the lights, my dad was so exhausted that he proceeded to collapse on the couch for the rest of the tree-decorating process, from which he had a clear view of our ornament-hanging and could criticize accordingly :).
After the tree topper is placed, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and moves on to the main task of hanging the ornaments. Each family has its own special way of completing this step. Some designate certain ornaments to be hung only by certain family members, under penalty of death. Usually the heavy or breakable ornaments are kept away from small children and they are directed instead to a pile of “special” ornaments that include those already broken or too ugly to care about. As we sifted through the ornament boxes, I found that a suspicious number of my parents’ ornaments are missing their eyes. I tried to compensate for this disturbing phenomenon by drawing them on with a black Sharpie. Not the same.
As the night drew to a close, we sipped apple cider, munched on chocolate chip cookies, and proudly observed our handiwork. Happy decorating!
Just what is wrong with black Sharpie eyes???
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