Paradoxes

Life is full of them. Or my life, that is. As I've been recovering and feeling much better overall from week to week, I've been facing some unexpected challenges. In a sense, as my life is getting easier, it's getting harder.

There are many things I couldn't do for so long, either because I was told not to by my doctors or because I didn't feel well enough, such as cooking, working, and exercising. While I couldn't do those things, I wished I could; however, now that I can, I often wish I didn't have to! There are also certain activities that I'm still told not to participate in, such as cleaning and classroom teaching. In the past, these are activities I would have welcomed a break from, but now that I can't do them, I wish I could!

The equally strange aspect to these paradoxes is that I know the feelings won't last. As soon as I'm given the green light to clean, I'll long for the days when I was told not to. Anywhere from days to months after returning to teaching, I'll wonder what I was thinking going back to teaching obstinate, hormonal middle schoolers. Yet even though I know the feeling of gratitude for simple things like walking outside, doing laundry, and running errands (all former no-nos) may be short-lived, I still get a sense of happiness from being able to do them. Luckily, the middle schoolers aren't always obstinate ;).