Day 365

It took me three tries to write this blog post. The first time, I wrote a paragraph and saved it on Blogger, planning to finish it soon. But when I accessed my draft, all my writing had disappeared. Frustrated, I wrote the entire post only to have my browser crash before I saved the last paragraph. Long story short, my writing disappeared again and I ended up in tears. Funny how writing this blog post makes a pretty good metaphor for what my life feels like at times, trying to do something good and being knocked down again and again, having to start from scratch. I’d like to feel pretty sorry for myself, but I can’t help remembering these two scriptures:

Psalm 34:19 NLT
The righteous person faces many troubles,
     but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.

Proverbs 24:16 NIRV
Even if godly people fall down seven times, they always get up.
     But those who are evil are brought down by trouble.

Wednesday, February 22 marked the one year anniversary, otherwise known as my second birthday, re-birthday, or birtheration (birthday + celebration), of my bone marrow transplant. I'm a few days later than planned with this post because the day after my birtheration, I wound up in the very place I was exactly one year prior, the hospital. A pretty serious line infection sent me to the ER Thursday afternoon with teeth-chattering chills, plummeting blood pressure, and a fever, and I was quickly started on a course of IV antibiotics and admitted to the hospital.

I'm not gonna lie; spending the week of my one year anniversary in the hospital was/is (I'm still here) a pretty big discouragement. It felt like a failure to wind up in the very place I'm supposed to be celebrating NOT being, and canceling my birtheration party was just icing on the cake. But I know that doesn't change the fact that one year is a huge milestone, especially considering that I'm doing so well. Besides this recent line infection, which was entirely unrelated to my health and completely related to a foreign object being embedded under my skin with caps hanging out and touching who knows what, my health is better than it's been in the past two years. My body is stronger, my labs are almost normal, and my skin is clear (no signs of GVHD).

My line was removed this morning, so now I’m infection and catheter-free and plan to stay that way. My biggest worry now is when to reschedule my birtheration. This hospital stay definitely knocked me down, but I plan to get back up. No line infection is going to stand in the way of me celebrating another year of life, challenging as it was, with the people who helped make it possible.