Some of you know that, after being discharged on Tuesday, March 15, I had to get readmitted on Thursday, March 16 for some GI issues. One thing I’m rapidly learning is how low the threshold is for getting readmitted as a BMT patient, especially this soon after transplant. It’s like, “Oh, you have a cough? Pack a bag. You’ll probably need a week of IV antibiotics!” :(
Not gonna lie: having only spent two days and two nights at home, I was pretty upset (translation: cried several times throughout that day and almost screamed when I had to get hooked up to the new RP). For those first few hours after they told me to come in, every part of me wanted to just give up. I know, I know, better safe than sorry and all that fluffy stuff, but after being in the hospital for over 5 weeks and only home for 2 days, to get readmitted felt like such a failure. I didn’t want to hope because I felt like my hopes would just keep getting crushed over and over again, so better to not hope at all, right? I can picture some of you nodding your heads right now in agreement, so I better clarify: that was sarcasm. It IS better to hope than not, even if you experience disappointment. It’s incredibly difficult, but I know that regardless of the outcome of my hopes, I am WAY more unhappy living without hope than with.
Romans 5:3-5 NLT describes why there’s always reason for hope:
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
I’ve been doing much better since getting readmitted, so the plan is for me to get discharged tomorrow morning. Please pray that the discharge will go quickly and that I will stay home! Let’s go for a record and get at least 3 days this time ;).
Not gonna lie: having only spent two days and two nights at home, I was pretty upset (translation: cried several times throughout that day and almost screamed when I had to get hooked up to the new RP). For those first few hours after they told me to come in, every part of me wanted to just give up. I know, I know, better safe than sorry and all that fluffy stuff, but after being in the hospital for over 5 weeks and only home for 2 days, to get readmitted felt like such a failure. I didn’t want to hope because I felt like my hopes would just keep getting crushed over and over again, so better to not hope at all, right? I can picture some of you nodding your heads right now in agreement, so I better clarify: that was sarcasm. It IS better to hope than not, even if you experience disappointment. It’s incredibly difficult, but I know that regardless of the outcome of my hopes, I am WAY more unhappy living without hope than with.
Romans 5:3-5 NLT describes why there’s always reason for hope:
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
I’ve been doing much better since getting readmitted, so the plan is for me to get discharged tomorrow morning. Please pray that the discharge will go quickly and that I will stay home! Let’s go for a record and get at least 3 days this time ;).
Becky, you encourage my soul! I was totally nodding my head when I read "so better to not hope at all, right?" LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou should be a writer, I encourage you to write a book while you are at home, something like this blog or on anything. You are very talented, I can visualize and feel the words you write.
I love you so much Becky and I am praying for success during this time of distress in your life.
Thanks Khashina :); you always encourage me too! I love writing, though it's sometimes hard to get motivated lol.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, BaBecky!! :) I'm praying for a much, much longer stay at home than three days!
ReplyDeleteGo Becky. You inspire so many people that you don't even have a clue.....Keep writing. Keep believing....and keep the hope. Life is good and worth it all. Heard you saw the musical even:) Maybe your Mom will have 10 minutes to enjoy you, Jackie, and gifts later today too! Get home and take good care. Love you! PS How was the new/replacement RP?
ReplyDeleteJust try for 3 days and 3 nights this time! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love you.
Don't get me wrong; I'm hoping/planning on much longer than 3 days as well, but trying to stay flexible :)
ReplyDelete