Can you give me a number?

There’s nothing like someone asking you at 4 a.m. to rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. This question is a favorite among the LPCH nurses and a pet peeve among the patients. Actually, most of the nurses know how annoying this question is and usually ask apologetically, but you still get sick of it pretty quickly when you’re asked 3 times a day. What’s funny is that for the little kids who can’t understand the question enough to answer, they show them a list of faces and ask them to point to the face that shows how they feel. As soon as you start reporting pain above a 1 or 2, you get asked twice as often. You don’t even want to know how often they ask you once you start saying a 6 or 7, which is what I’ve been at for a couple weeks now due to leg, mouth, and throat pain from the chemo :/. I know I'm 26, but can I please point to a face?

After you’ve been here a while (I like to think of myself as a seasoned veteran), the nurses shorten the question to, “Can you give me a number?” To the casual observer, this may seem like an easy enough question, but it’s far more complicated than it seems. They tell you that 1 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. Does anyone else see the problem here? This system is flawed because all pain is relative. The worst pain I’ve ever experienced will be far different than someone else’s worst pain. I’ve had numerous surgeries, procedures, and rounds of chemotherapy, not to mention liver and kidney failure, so me giving them a 10 would probably require me getting hit by a car while being set on fire. Sorry if that image is too graphic...as you can imagine, I don’t get queasy very easily :).

As I type these words, my nurse literally just walked in the room and asked me to rate my pain. She's looking at me a little funny because I'm giggling :). I guess a giggle isn't the typical response to that question...? One time, just for kicks, I should say with a straight face, “Well, it was a 4. But since you asked me that question for the 7th time in the last hour, it’s now jumped to an 8.”

*Side note: Just want to be clear that the nurses here are awesome. Even though I get annoyed by the question, I can’t blame them for doing their job!