Extreme Couponing

I love saving money. It’s in my blood. I’m pretty sure the show Extreme Couponing is inspired by my mom, since one of the top ten lessons I learned while growing up was to never buy anything without a coupon. Other money-saving convictions I was indoctrinated with at an early age include to never order any drink but water at a restaurant, never buy anything at full price, stock up on staples when they’re on sale, buy an annual Entertainment book (or similar coupon book), and keep a well-stocked freezer.

My husband Zack is pretty much the opposite. It’s not that he doesn’t like saving money (who’s going to argue, “I’d like to spend more on groceries” or “I don’t think our credit card bill is high enough this month”?), but it’s not something he naturally thinks about. He tends to value quality over saving money, which I found out very quickly on our honeymoon when we stayed at the Four Seasons and the Tickle Pink Inn in Carmel, both places that I’m pretty sure cost more than a kidney.

It took me a long time to see the value in his way of thinking, but these past two years have really opened my eyes. Many times he pays more because he values the experience over the money, something that doesn’t come naturally for me. If I care deeply about something, I should be willing to spend more on it, whether that be in money, time, effort, or all of the above. During the past two years, I’ve seen firsthand that God, relationships, and health are the most important things in my life, and they’re worth protecting at any cost.

Mark 6:19-21 NLT
“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Fortunately, it’s not all or nothing. We can learn from each other’s way of thinking so that we get the best of both worlds. Zack has learned that you don’t have to spend a week’s salary on a hotel room for it to be luxurious, and I’ve learned that I won’t die from ordering a soda at dinner. Don’t get me wrong; I still love saving money, and I think that’s a good thing. But we’re still going to stay in Carmel; I think I have a coupon.

Trying to Gain Weight

I realize that's the exact opposite of everything we’re hearing this time of year, with commercials advertising cleanse diets and weight loss pills (scary) and with magazine headlines screaming, “Drop 10 Pounds Instantly!” (not a good idea either). But that’s where I’m at. Admittedly, for the typical person it’s much easier to gain weight than to lose it, but add nausea and diarrhea to the picture (either that, or a teenage boy’s metabolism), and you have a different story.

With my defunct sense of taste and medication-induced nausea, it’s been difficult to think of anything that sounds remotely appetizing, let alone to then eat it. However, every so often, I’ll get a flash of inspiration such as Vietnamese chicken pho (a big hit) or Taco Bell nachos (my worst idea yet). Last week I had a craving for an icy fruit smoothie which, with the help of my Magic Bullet, proved to be successful. Though I was grateful to consume anything without experiencing nausea, the average smoothie isn’t exactly formulated to bulk you up, so I decided to explore some calorie-adding techniques.

My doctor referred me to the clinic’s nutritionist, a woman with an (in)famous reputation amongst the patients, probably because almost all of us experience some level of nausea and don’t want someone telling us what our BMI is when all we can think about is trying not to throw up our breakfast. She is, however, a great resource for a patient actively trying to gain weight, and sent me home with a bag full of different supplements to try in my smoothies. I think I just entered the world of body builders and marathon runners.

Did you know that there’s an 8 oz. “breakfast drink” on the market made by Carnation that contains an outrageous 560 calories?? I’m pretty sure an 8 oz. tube of lard doesn’t even pack that much of a punch. I don’t understand how something made entirely of ingredients such as sugar, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, and oil is somehow good for you, but I do understand how it might help you to gain weight. If nothing else, at least it’s got some vitamins added in there. How ironic would that be if I suffered a heart attack while drinking a “nutritional supplement”? Wish me luck.

Kidney Reflections

Lately my kidneys have taken a hit due to dehydration, causing my Creatinine and BUN to rise. What the heck are Creatinine and BUN, you may ask? Your average person has probably never heard of them, so let me give you a brief anatomy lesson, courtesy of Wikipedia. Creatinine is a break-down product of creatine phosphate in muscle and is usually produced at a fairly constant rate by the body. Creatinine is chiefly filtered out of the blood by the kidneys, so if the filtering of the kidneys is deficient, creatinine blood levels rise. The blood urea nitrogen (BUN) is a test of the measure of the amount of nitrogen in the blood in the form of urea and a measurement of kidney function. Urea is a by-product from metabolism of proteins by the liver and is removed from the blood by the kidneys. Basically, all this means is that I have to run IV hydration at home for a few days to rehydrate myself and help my kidneys.

Today I was reflecting on all the ups and downs my kidneys have had over the past 2 years, with last July being the worst. That was when my HLH relapsed and my kidneys completely shut down within a matter of days. I stopped peeing entirely, an extremely strange phenomenon. You might think it sounds convenient (e.g. no more bathroom breaks during movies), but it was actually a very uncomfortable, awful feeling to sit on the toilet and literally have NOTHING come out, no matter how much I drank.

As a result, the renal team (i.e. kidney doctors) severely restricted my intake of fluids, allowing me to drink no more than 500-700 ml (about 1-1.5 water bottles) per day, with every drop accounted for on a whiteboard mounted on my bathroom door. I was constantly thirsty. I’ve never been much of a fan of alcohol, but man, did those beer commercials look good. My dreams were filled with tall glasses of ice water and frosty smoothies. I had to undergo kidney dialysis, a process I associated with weak, sickly, old people, never myself at 25 years old. Though the failure of my kidneys was sudden and severe, they recovered amazingly fast, allowing me to end dialysis within two weeks, rather than the two months or more originally predicted. That was just one of many miracles I experienced last year.

Yeah, the hydration causes me to make a couple more daily trips to the bathroom than usual. I’ll take that over dialysis any day.

Christmas in the ER

At 3 a.m. Christmas morning, I woke up with a severe case of nausea that quickly turned to vomiting and other unpleasantries. I will spare you the gruesome details, but the long story short is that around the time we were supposed to be leaving for my parents’ house to enjoy a hearty breakfast and open presents, Zack and my bedraggled self were on our way to the Stanford ER. I was so wiped out that I could barely open my eyes, let alone answer and endure the nauseatingly repetitive questions and processes associated with ER visits: “So, what brought you to the ER today?” “What time did the nausea begin?” “How many bowel movements have you had in the past 24 hours? What do they look like?” In the ER they have no shame. My favorite was, “Let me examine you,” which involved firmly pressing on my stomach, always a good idea for someone complaining of incessant nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain.

Seven hours, two liters of fluid, and one IV dose of Zofran (an anti-nausea med) later, I was discharged under the assumption that my symptoms were likely due to food poisoning.  I was still able to go home to my family and relatives and enjoy Christmas dinner (though mine was Top Ramen) and the present-unwrapping experience (I sat in the recliner while all my gifts were brought to me). My sister proclaimed that the day had gone from the worst Christmas ever to the best Christmas ever, and we all agreed and looked forward to an uneventful rest of the week.

Little did we know that my symptoms were not from food poisoning, but from a viral infection. This soon became apparent when 6 out of 7 of the rest of my family members woke up in the middle of the night with the exact same symptoms. Let’s just say the bathroom was a popular spot that night. Everyone spent the next day fairly miserable, watching movies and shuddering at the sight or smell of food. Everyone, that is, except my dad, who came home announcing he still didn’t feel well and then promptly asked, “Do we have any Doritos?” He has a strong stomach.

Zack and I still aren’t feeling very well, and I had to go back to the ER a couple days later for persistent symptoms and dehydration. It’s difficult not to feel resentful and bitter about the whole situation, especially since all this happened during Christmas while my sister and relatives were visiting from Seattle and Wyoming, but I’m still grateful we got to spend time together. We kept praying that I wouldn’t have to be admitted, and I wasn’t. Though it may take a little time, I’m sure this Christmas will be one of those we remember and laugh about for years to come. I foresee plenty of vomiting jokes.